i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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