its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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