I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
