I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
