We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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