She's JV to your varsity
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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