She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
