You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
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