I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
