Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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