yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
