If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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