Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
