I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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