Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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