Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
