I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
