kristin has been a bad kristin
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
