I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
