That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
