I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
