My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
