Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize