the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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