Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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