I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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