Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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