We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
