ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
