She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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