I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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