the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
