Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
