his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize