I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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