So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
