I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
