Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
where are my eyebrows?
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