i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize