ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
