I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
