go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
