He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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