My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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