he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
