can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
