You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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