Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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