I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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