Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
