i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
