I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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