this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
