I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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