it wasn't lemon gatorade
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
