Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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