i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
