I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
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