i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize