I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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