I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
