yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
where am i from again
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he thought i was a dude.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
