its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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