You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
This can only be settled by a dance off.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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