At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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