Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
