I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have aggressive nipples.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
