Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
