i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize