it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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