she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
