Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
