Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
