So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
